


Drunk And Disorderly

by JediFighterPilot2727



Category: Wynonna Earp (TV), wayhaught - Fandom
Genre: Car Sex, Drunk Sex, Emergency Sex, Established Relationship, F/F, I hope you guys are happy, If you can't tell by now - SEX, Smut, Tumblr Prompt, a lot of sin, sin - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-29
Updated: 2016-09-07
Packaged: 2018-08-11 16:41:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,705
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7900120
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JediFighterPilot2727/pseuds/JediFighterPilot2727
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>otpblr:</p>
<p>The I’m a cop and you need to stop calling 911 and asking for me every time you’re drunk and horny. I know it’s seem like an emergency to you but you can’t hold the line up like that, sweetheart AU.</p>
<p>Requested by kevlarknight94</p>
<p>I hope this is good, I haven't written smut in forever!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Call

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and Critiques make my day!

Nicole was sitting at her desk, burning the midnight oil. She was filling out paperwork, trying to stay awake as she listened for any calls coming over the radio.

It wasn’t her ideal Saturday night activity, she’d much rather be hanging out with Waverly and Wynonna, but it wasn’t a bad gig. Other than the supernatural aspect, Purgatory was a pretty quiet town - especially at night. Locals tended to keep to themselves, or at least stayed far enough out in the country to avoid being a disturbance. Revenants usually stayed in the trailer park, and only an idiot would be stupid enough to go out there alone in the middle of the night.

Nicole was not an idiot.

“Officer Haught, this is Dispatch; we’ve got a call coming in- specifically requested you as the responding officer.” The radio beside her crackled to life, startling her out of busy work.

“Dispatch, this is Officer Haught: the caller requested me?"

“Affirmative."

“Roger that, what’s the location?” She switched the call to the portable radio on her shoulder and grabbed her Stetson off it’s hook.

“The Earp Homestead."

Her heart dropped to her feet, a call from the Earps could only ever mean bad things, and usually it meant _very_ bad things.

She was halfway out the door of the station before she thought to answer dispatch.

“Roger that, Dispatch, I’m on my way."

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

The trip to the Homestead took twenty minutes less than it should have, and she was pretty sure her cruiser would need new shocks from flying over the bumps on the gravel road. Her mind was racing through every possible scenario, none of them ending well. She had tried to call Waverly and Wynonna several times, and the fact that she couldn’t get either one of them to answer only fueled her anxiety.

The cruiser skidded to a stop and she threw the shifter into park before she jumped out, eyes scanning everywhere for signs of danger.

“Waverly?!” She called out at the top of her lungs, hoping desperately for a response.

The door to the house slotted open, and her hand went to her gun, mentally preparing herself for whatever horror was approaching her. A dark figure slithered out.

“Hey, Haught-stuff."

“Wa-Waverly?” Her hand dropped from her belt, and she squinted into the light now leaking through the doorway.

“I’m really glad you got my call.”

She approached the front porch cautiously, glancing behind her for an ambush.

“Well, you called 911, so of course they called me."

“I wanted to be sure you got the message."

“What message?"

“I need you."

“Yeah, I’m here; what’s going on? Is everybody okay? Is it Revenants?"

Waverly bounded down the steps and took a leap, forcing Nicole to catch her, hands gripping Waverly’s ass as the younger girl’s legs wrapped around her waist.

“I _need_ you." Her finger trailed over Nicole’s face and down her chest where the top two buttons of her uniform top lay open. The smell of whiskey permeated the air between them.

“Waverly Earp, are you drunk?"

“Define ‘drunk’.” Her girlfriend giggled and Nicole vowed to kill Wynonna. She wasn’t exactly sure what the elder Earp’s role was in this, but she was sure it started somewhere around the time the whiskey got involved.

“So let me get this straight-"

“I’m not straight.” Waverly giggled again. “Neither are you."

“Trust me, I’m very - “ She gasped as Waverly’s lips came in contact with her neck. “Very aware of that."

She stumbled slightly.

“Babe, if you don’t behave I’m gonna have to put you down."

Waverly’s teeth nipped at her ear.

“But you like it when I misbehave."

“Normally yes, but I’m trying to make sure that no one is seriously injured right now.” She leaned back as far as she could and Waverly finally pulled back, face schooled into a pout.

“Fine."

“So you got drunk-"

Waverly held her thumb and index finger a hairsbreadth apart.

“And you decided to call 911 and request me to come out here so that you could get a late night booty call?"

Waverly managed to look sheepish.

“How much trouble am I in if I say yes?"

Now that she knew there was no real danger, she felt her good humor return. She also noticed how little clothing her girlfriend was wearing. A short skirt a low cut top that tempted her imagination.

“Oh, I think you’re in a lot of trouble."

Waverly giggled, hands coming up to snag the Stetson off Nicole’s head and place it on her own.

“What’s my punishment, Officer?”

One of her hands worked it’s way under the back of Waverly’s shirt, tugging her closer and she leaned forward, capturing Waverly’s lips with her own.

She tasted like whiskey and Waverly, and Nicole quickly found herself drowning in the sensation.

This was definitely not protocol.

She should definitely go back to the station.

But Waverly’s hands were in her hair, already loosening the braid holding it, and she suddenly didn’t really care about protocol. Besides, if dispatch needed her, they could reach her.

She stumbled forward, trying to climb the porch stairs without dropping her precious cargo.

Waverly’s hand came around to cup her chin, pushing her back until their lips were barely brushing.

“Everybody’s in the living room and I don’t wanna wait until I get you upstairs."

“I am not having sex in the grass again, that was extremely itchy and-"

“I’ve never had sex in the back of cop car.” Waverly’s voice was low, seductive, and Nicole felt a flood of wetness between her legs.

She grinned.

“Well as it happens, I have a cop car right over there."

“Maybe we should put it to good use."

“Maybe we should."

“Maybe you should shut up and fuck me."

Waverly didn’t curse often. Of their little group, she was probably the least like to be a potty mouth; although Nicole thought that was probably just because she could curse in so many other languages without anyone ever knowing what she was saying. Regardless, hearing that dirty word roll off those pretty lips _did_ things to her. Things like threaten to make her legs give out from under her from the pure desire surging through her system.

She staggered forward, feeling quite drunk herself as Waverly’s lips reclaimed her own.

“Baby, I can’t see, we’re gonna fall.” The words were mumbled into Waverly’s mouth and she thought at first the smaller girl hadn’t heard her but then her lips moved to Nicole’s neck. Finally able to see, she lurched around the stump they were headed for and stumbled to the police cruiser.

They slammed into the side of car a little too hard and she winced.

“Sorry.” She breathed.

"Kiss me.”

Nicole grinned and snagged Waverly’s bottom lip between her teeth. Her tongue traced along the plump lip, tasting the hint of whiskey that remained. Waverly’s tongue teased her teeth, and then it was in her mouth again - twisting and tantalizing and and drawing a deep moan out of her throat.

Kissing Waverly easily ranked high on her list of favorite things to do. Even after all these months, the feeling it gave her was indescribable. It was a fluttering around her diaphragm and a heat in her lower abdomen and her head was spinning with the sensation.

She tore her lips from Waverly’s, and trailed them down down her neck. The soft skin tasted like Waverly and sweat and she breathed in the scent of perfume and it was perfect, so perfect - her senses overwhelmed and her heart thudding in her chest -

“Nic . . . Nic, please."

She fumbled for the door handle to the back seat, tottering backwards as the door jerked open, and for a moment she was afraid that she was going to fall, but then Waverly was wiggling out of her arms and sliding down her to stand on the ground.

“What’re you-"

“You first.” Waverly gestured to the backseat.

She grinned again, she loved it when her girlfriend got bossy.

She crawled into the cruiser and flipped over, smirking as Waverly ducked in after her. She was too tall to fit entirely on the backseat and her boots dangled out of the car. Waverly settled on top of her, knees resting on either side of her waist, that damn white Stetson still settled on her head.

She groaned.

“Wave . . . you’re killin' me."

Waverly grabbed Nicole's hand and placed it on her chest, dragging it down her body.

“Oh my god, this is like an old high school fantasy I used to have - getting seduced in the back of my police cruiser."

Waverly laughed before she leaned forward, snagging Nicole’s earlobe with her teeth.

“Oh yeah? In your fantasy, did I ride your hand until I scream your name? Cause that’s exactly what I plan on doing."

Her brain short circuited, and her hips canted upwards on reflex.

“Jesus, Wave.”

She trailed her hand up Waverly’s bare thigh, slipping her fingers up, past the material of her skirt, up, up -

“You’re not wearing any underwear."

She felt Waverly smile against her neck.

“Well, I was expecting you.”

Waverly leaned back and Nicole brought her knees up to rest her feet on the seat, framing Waverly in and letting her rest her back on her thighs.

Waverly’s hands came up to rest on her abdomen, ripping at the buttons on her uniform shirt. She was grateful - and not for the first time - that her shirt was held together with snaps and not with actual buttons. Her own fingers dipped into the wetness between Waverly’s thighs and she groaned again.

“Wave."

“Nicole, please."

She couldn’t say no to that, not with Waverly’s fingers twisted in her undershirt and Waverly’s hips grinding down into hers and Waverly’s smell filling the air around her.

She dipped a single finger inside wet heat and Waverly gasped. Her other hand gripped Waverly’s thigh, feeling the muscle quivering underneath the surface.

“More - please."

Two fingers now, and Waverly was riding her hand, just as she promised. It was by far the hottest thing that Nicole had ever seen. She curled her fingers that were inside Waverly, searching, hunting for just the right spot.

“Nic."

There it was.

She twisted her hand so that her thumb could reach Waverly’s clit, pressing just right against the bundle of nerves until Waverly’s head was thrown back, Stetson brushing the roof of the car. For a few minutes, the only sound in the car was their panting, the wordless moans of desire, the sound of fabric brushing fabric and skin gliding on skin.

“Don’t stop.” The request was needy, breathless.

“I won’t, I’m right here, baby, I’m right here."

Gently, she slipped a third finger in and Waverly’s inner muscles clenched around her fingers.

“Look at me, Wave."

Even by the dim light of cabin lamp, she could see Waverly’s eyes lock on to hers, could feel the electricity shiver down her spine.

“That’s it, baby."

“Nic."

She could feel Waverly shaking above her, the edge of release just out of reach.

“Cum for me, Waverly."

“Nic-"

And then Waverly’s muscles were quivering around her fingers, milking them as she fell forward, fist twisting in Nicole’s shirt as she collapsed on top of her.

She moved her hand from Waverly’s thigh to her back, rubbing soothing circles as the shorter girl rode out the aftershocks of her orgasm.

“Oh my god.” Waverly finally groaned into her chest.

“Good?” She slowly slipped her fingers out, licking the juices off of each one and Waverly groaned again, staring up at her like she was a piece of chocolate cake.

“So good."

“Well, you know that it’s my duty to protect and serve."

“And what a great job you do, Officer Haught.” Hands drifted up under Nicole’s shirt, teasing the edge of her bra. “But now I think it’s my turn-"

The radio on Nicole’s shoulder crackled with static before a voice came through.

“Officer Haught, this is Dispatch."

“You’ve got to be kidding me!” She whined before holding the transmit button.

“Loud and clear dispatch, this is Officer Haught."

“Officer, we’ve got reports of some unidentified persons tipping cows out at the Smith ranch."

“Roger that, Dispatch, I’m on my way.” She turned her head to roll her eyes at Waverly. “Duty calls."

“Later?” Waverly asked, crawling backwards out of the car.

“Oh, you bet.” She grabbed her Stetson from where it had fallen on the floor board and slithered her way out. She quickly buttoned her shirt and went to close the back door only to find herself pressed against the cruiser, Waverly’s lips on hers. it was a heated kiss, but it was over all too soon, Waverly pulling back and straightening up the collar on her uniform.

“To help tide you over."

“Right."

“I’ll be waiting up for you when your shift is over."

What she ever did to deserve this woman she would never know.

“Oh! Here, you might need this.” Waverly handed her the hair she had taken out of her braid earlier and Nicole took it gratefully, pulling her hair back in a quick ponytail.

“I love you, ya know."

“I love you too, and not just because you’re my 911 booty call."

Nicole narrowed her eyes.

“You’re not really drunk are you?"

“Not as much as I may have led on.” Waverly smirked.

“You know we can’t make this a habit, as much as I would love to. In fact I should probably arrest you, misuse of the 911 system and all."

“It won’t happen again, Officer, I swear. I just wanted to mark it off my bucket list."

“I wouldn’t say never again, I mean graveyard shift is pretty slow, just text me next time, don’t call it in."

Waverly grinned like a kid who was just handed a hundred bucks in a toy store.

“Roger that."

“I have to go."

“Just three more hours."

“I’ll be counting them down."

“You’re such a sap."

“Only for you."

She gave Waverly one last peck before slipping into the cruiser, the front seat this time, and starting down the long driveway. When she got a hold of these cow tippers, they were gonna wish they had picked another Saturday night activity. One that didn’t involve interrupting her emergency booty call.


	2. The Car Wash

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So here is the much awaited second chapter! I hope you guys enjoy! Its smutty and fluffy and just dirty! lol

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honestly my eyes are starting to cross, so sorry for any typos!

As luck would have it, there was a whole gang of teenage cow tippers, and filling out the paperwork for their catch and release took Nicole far longer than she would have liked. By the time she made it home, the clock was flirting with 8AM, and she was stifling a yawn every few minutes. God, she hated night shift.

She stumbled up the steps to the Homestead, the house dark save for the early morning sunlight filtering through the windows. She couldn’t help but grin as she thought about the last time she had been here, Waverly’s legs wrapped around her waist and her lips on her neck. A small part of her wondered if her girlfriend had managed to wait up on her, but a bigger part hoped she was already in bed warming up the covers. Sure, she was still slightly horny and frustrated from their unfinished romp earlier, but she was also exhausted, and curling up with Waverly sounded like heaven.

She silently let herself in, quietly hanging her keys and Stetson on their designated hooks by the door. She knew the punishment for waking Wynonna up early on a Sunday morning, and she had no desire to face the elder Earp’s wrath. Rounding the corner into the living room, she saw what was quite possibly the most adorable sight she had ever seen.

There was Waverly, curled up on the couch in that same halter top and skirt she had been wearing earlier; half covered up with an afghan, an ancient book inches away from slipping out of her fingers and onto the floor.

She couldn’t stop the grin from spreading across her face - if there was something better to come home to, she couldn’t think of it. She slid the book out of Waverly’s grasp and lay it gently on the coffee table before scooping the shorter girl up in her arms bridal style.

“Nic?"

Waverly began to stir, fingers curling in the front of Nicole’s shirt.

“Hey, sleepy head.” She couldn’t resist placing a soft kiss on her girlfriend’s forehead.

“Was waiting up for you.” Waverly mumbled, face nuzzling into Nicole’s chest.

“Well, I think it’s past both our bedtimes."

If she could have reached her phone to take a picture of the pout that settled of Waverly’s face, she would have.

“But I had a whole sexy dance planned out."

“And I can’t wait to see it, but _after_ you’ve had some rest."

She climbed the stairs as steadily as she could, gently depositing Waverly on the bed before heading to the bathroom to wash her face. By the time she came back, Waverly had changed into an oversized sleep shirt and curled under the light blanket that covered the bed. Hurriedly, she stripped out of her uniform and into her own pajamas before curling around the sleeping form of her girlfriend.

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Waking up after a night shift was incredibly disorienting.

Waverly had insisted on decorating the bedroom with blackout curtains, and while she appreciated the uninterrupted rest they gave her, she always thought it was night time when she eventually woke up.

Glancing at the alarm clock, she saw that it was only two o’clock in the afternoon - plenty of daylight left.

Waverly, however, was no where to be seen; and she allowed herself time to stretch out and gain her bearings before straggling down the stairs. There was plate of blueberry muffins on the kitchen counter, and she snagged one before moving aside the curtain to peek outside.

She was not prepared for what she saw.

Her cruiser had been moved beside the house, and it was currently covered in soap suds and being scrubbed rather vigorously by a scantily dressed Waverly Earp. She felt her jaw drop as she took in the sight of her girlfriend’s lithe figure, clad in only a bikini top and a pair of sinfully skimpy high waisted short shorts.

She almost dropped her muffin.

Jesus Christ the things that woman did to her.

She couldn’t stop herself from watching out the window as she ate, it was like a porno unfolding in front of her. Only this was way better than porn, it was real; and Waverly was certainly hotter than any porn star she’d ever seen.

Not that she watched copious amounts of porn or anything, but it was pretty much impossible to not have seen at least some porn, and -

Anyway, she was digressing, and Waverly was stretching up to reach the top of the cruiser.

Good god. She was more of a boob girl than an ass girl, but she couldn’t deny that Waverly looked good from this angle. If Wynonna’s ass was top shelf, then Waverly's was twenty-one year single malt Irish whisky.

She shoved the rest of the muffin in her mouth and chased it with orange juice. She finger combed her hair and settled her pajama pants low on her hips, making sure the bottom ‘v’ of her abs was peeking above the band. If Waverly was looking that good, she had to at least try and up her game. She slipped on a pair of shoes and jogged outside, slowing as she rounded the corner of the house and coming to a stop a few feet behind her girlfriend.

“Wave?” She called out tentatively.

“Oh, hey Nic!” Waverly’s smile was enough to stop her heart. Or start it back again for that matter.

“Whatcha doin'?"

Waverly rolled her eyes. “What’s it look like I’m doing?"

“Well, it looks like you’re starring in my own private fantasy for the second time in as many days."

Waverly laughed and then squeezed the sponge in her hands, suds spilling over her fingers and onto the hood of the car.

“Well, I washed the Jeep, so I thought I’d take care of the cruiser too."

“Need any help?”

“Could you grab the hose? Just need to rinse!"

“Sure!” She reached down for the water hose, and aimed carefully before squeezing the trigger. She sent a few sprays over the side of the car before turning the hose on her girlfriend.

“Hey!” Waverly’s squeal was adorable as her hands came up to try and shield her from the spray of water.

“Oops!” Nicole grinned mischievously.

“You are asking for it, Officer Haught!"

Waverly rushed towards her, hands groping for the sprayer. They fumbled over each other, and someone pressed the trigger, spraying both of them in the face. A massive water fight ensued, and by the end of it they were both soaking wet and the car was (mostly) rinsed off. Finally, she could take no more and she tossed the hose to the ground, stalking after Waverly like a predator after their prey.

Her hair wet and dripping around her eyes as she backed Waverly up against the hood of the car. Waverly’s arms wrapped around her neck, and she could feel the younger girl’s breath puffing excitedly against her face.

“Seems I’ve got a problem.” She said seriously.

“What’s that?"

“You got me all wet.” She grinned, dimples popping in her cheeks. Waverly giggled as her back hit the car, and Nicole reached down to lift her up onto the hood.

“Please tell me your sister isn’t here."

“She’s at the station with Doc and Dolls, why?"

“‘Cause I do not want them here for what I’m about to do."

“What are you about-“ Waverly started to ask but Nicole didn’t let her finish, instead stealing the breath right out of the other girl’s mouth.

Their tongues quickly tangled in a mess of heat and wet. It didn’t take long for her leftover frustration from the night before to catch up with her, and she desperately trailed her lips down Waverly’s neck, nipping and biting her way across perfectly sculpted collarbones. Slowly, she licked the drops of water from warm skin until she was face deep in cleavage.

She really needed to pinch herself and make sure she wasn’t dreaming.

_After_ she was done making Waverly scream her name.

Fingers twisted almost painfully in her hair, squeezing until the water ran down her cheeks and onto Waverly’s toned abs. She ran her tongue over the lines of defined muscle, carefully following the rivulets of water and grinning as the other girl shivered beneath her.

She was grateful that Waverly's pants were easy to undo, and her fingers deftly undid the buttons and shimmied the shorts down shapely hips. Slowly, she drifted downward until her nose dusted through dark curls, and her tongue snaked out to wipe though wet folds. She groaned as the sweetness coated her taste buds, and Waverly’s fingernails dug into her scalp.

She flicked her tongue against the sensitive bud before gently scraping it with her teeth. This was the part she loved, losing herself in the act of making love.

Waverly’s hips were jerking upwards, and she slipped her hands under the shorter girls thighs and looped them lightly around until her hands could rest on her hips, giving her better access and control. With feather light pressure, she teased her tongue down until it was gliding into the opening and she relished the way Waverly’s muscles clenched around her.

Her tongue explored and prodded, never staying in one place too long; until Waverly’s hands tightened impossibly in her hair and sweet voice called out in a broken moan -

“Please, baby."

And then she gave in, lavishing devoted attention to Waverly’s clit, her inner stud preening as her girlfriend cried her name like a prayer -over and over until she could feel Waverly shaking beneath her, could feel the tension in her muscles build and build until they snapped, body relaxing into the cruiser as the fingers in Nicole’s hair loosened.

When the last of the aftershocks had left Waverly’s body, she leaned back, taking in the sight of the most beautiful woman in the world spread-eagle on the hood of her police cruise. Waverly's hair was wet and mussed, light purple bruises littering her collarbone where Nicole’s teeth had gotten sharp. Her stomach was heaving as she caught her breath, and her eyes flickered between Nicole’s eyes and lips.

Nicole didn’t think she had ever seen a sight quite as breathtaking.

“God, you’re gorgeous.” she breathed out almost reverently.

Hands tugged at her, pulling her back up until her lips were locked with Waverly’s again, the kiss was deep and exploring, almost as if Waverly was trying taste herself on her tongue.

She had a split second to enjoy the moment before Waverly’s legs tightened around her waist and she was flipped over onto back. Her jaw dropped in shock and Waverly grinned down at her.

“I’ve been practicing my takedowns."

“Impressive-“ And then Waverly was on her again, teeth clacking together as their mouths met with a little too much force. A hand snaked down her waist and slipped down into her pajama bottoms coasting through the wetness that she knew was ruining her underwear.

She couldn’t stop the moan that slipped up her throat, whispering against the other girl’s lips.

“Wave."

Her girlfriend pulled back just enough so that their eyes could lock and Waverly held her gaze as fingers teased her entrance before plunging in, twisting at just the right spot. She threw her head back, not even wincing as the pain lanced through her scalp as it smacked the metal of the the hood.

_The sky is really blue today._

It was her last coherent thought before the synapses ing her brain were overloaded with pleasure as Waverly’s fingers drew tantalizing patterns against her clit. It was the middle of the day. but she would swear she saw stars. It probably didn’t help her stamina that she had dreamed about this very scenario - okay, maybe not this exact scenario, even her dreams weren’t that good - or maybe Waverly was just getting really fucking good at this; either way it wasn’t long before she felt a warm heat spreading in her lower abdomen.

Waverly’s free hand pushed up her shirt and her mouth dropped down to envelope Nicole’s nipple in wet warmth. How exactly her girlfriend always knew exactly what to make her come undone was beyond her. Nicole wouldn’t be surprised if she ended up having some psychic sex power that guided her through precisely the right actions to lead Nicole to her tipping point. The fingers inside her curled at just the right point, and she whimpered helplessly.

Her orgasm came like kayak going over a waterfall - slowly building up until suddenly she was in the middle of it, Waverly’s lips coming up to swallow her cries. Moments passed before she opened her eyes, greeted by Waverly’s smile.

“Good?” The younger girl's voice was tentative, as if she was afraid of the answer.

“Good? More like mind-blowing! Have you been practicing?"

Waverly blushed at her teasing and buried her face in Nicole’s neck as she shook her head.

They lay like that for a moment, before Nicole realized what an awkward sight this would be for Wynonna to come home to. She did not feel like explaining to her best friend why she had her sister pantsless on the hood of a cop car.

“I have the night off, wanna go lay in bed and watch shit movies?"

“The new Sharknado?"

“Umm excuse you, I said shit movies, not cinematic masterpieces!"

Waverly laughed and rolled off the car, fastening her pants back before offering a hand to Nicole.

“Popcorn?"

“Oh if you don’t fix popcorn, I’m gonna have to ask for a divorce."

“We’re not married.” Waverly smacked her arm.

“Yet.” She winked, enjoying the flush that worked its way up Waverly’s chest.

She tried not to think of the antique diamond ring that had once belonged to her grandmother and was currently tucked in the back of her sock drawer.

Not yet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, comments and critiques are welcome!


End file.
